For those of you who may not be familiar with the details of my personal life, I died a few weeks ago. That’s me in the picture above just hanging out in an induced coma. You see, my heart stopped beating on the basketball court and I went into cardiac arrest. My dad had also suffered from massive cardiac arrest at age 45 but I had no idea I would beat him by six years and have one @ 39. He unfortunately did not have the luxury of dying twice. So what’s it like to die and come back and how am I even writing about dying two weeks to the day after it occurred?
1. The guys who I played basketball with knew CPR and took action IMMEDIATELY after I collapsed
2. There just so happens to be a defibrillator on the premises
3. There just so happens to be a hospital almost literally around the corner from where I had the event
Of course all that means nothing. I could’ve just as easily ended up dead or woken up a drooling, useless turnip (WTF is a turnip?) with no control of bodily functions who could barely sign his name, which was actually the case after I came to. I was asked to sign a release document the day after I came to and the best I could muster up was an “X” like a caveman. Most sufferers of cardiac arrest do not survive and certainly do not survive with all brain and cognitive functions intact. For whatever reason however and thankfully, that was not my case. According to the doctors, nurses, physical therapists and multiple healthcare professionals, I made somewhat of a miraculous recovery. It is quite frightening to hear those who are professionally schooled and trained in medicine attribute your recovery to a “miracle.”
In order for me to even have a fighting chance, I had to be kept in an induced coma. While in said coma, everything was done from literally freezing my extremities with ice to pumping me full of a drug cocktail including the one that killed the King of Pop (Propofol). It would seem that my blood pressure was exceeding Ferrari test drive levels and I had to stay induced or risk the occurrence of a stroke. The adverse effects of all these drugs were some of the freakiest nightmares I have ever experienced in my life. Why the hell was I being chased by the Blue Man Group? Why the hell was I being chased by those little skeletons and Viking men in the Game of War commercials? Why the hell was I jousting with Nerf swords while riding racing dogs on a track? I blame the drugs.
I find it hilarious that my first words after I came to were “Let me go.” Where exactly was I going? As previously stated, I literally couldn’t walk or use the bathroom on my own. Never mind the upper respiratory failure as a result of the pneumonia one gets when one swallows one’s own vomit. I say all that to say that although “Let me go” was quite an illogical request, the fact that I was awake and using words was a welcome sight for all who were there.
The most overwhelming part of this ordeal wasn’t going into cardiac arrest, dying, being revived, being in a coma and walking out of the hospital two weeks to the day after all that occurred (I went in on a Tuesday, woke up the following Tuesday, and was discharged the Tuesday after that). The craziest part to me was the amount of people who were genuinely in my corner. The fact that the hospital overflowed with friends and family from my room and into the hallways every single day until I woke up and days after is unbelievable. I mean I of course have close friends and family as do most but it was not the typical 5-6 people. 20-30 (and I may be understating but I’m trying not to seem arrogant) folk daily were holding vigil. I basically got to attend my own funeral while still alive. There were friends from elementary school, summer camps, high school, college, current and former places of employment, etc… It was (and still is) beyond my comprehension. When I was told I have “amazing friends” and an awesome support system, my Aunt quickly responded without batting an eyelash “It’s because you are a good friend to a lot of people.”
I have since acquired some hilarious nicknames as a result of surviving cardiac arrest and having an Arc Reactor (defibrillator) permanently installed in my chest. Names like The Iron African, Bruce Leroy, Lazarus and, of course, Tony Stark.
So what was death like? Did I see the white light? Is Jesus cool? Did I see Biggie? Is he still nice? What piece of advice could a dead guy possibly have for the living? The answer to those questions are A) dying sucks but only for those left behind to mourn B) yes I did but it was the white light in my hospital room C) Jesus is mad chill but has a bit of a temper D) Biggie will always be nice (I didn’t see Tupac anywhere though… hmm…).
As for my advice to the living of which I am happy to still be a member, it is simply this; no one cared that I wasn’t married or didn’t have kids. No one cared that I had never been to Europe. My family and friends simply wanted me to wake up normal. My quality of life will not be determined by a completion of anyone’s bucket list, including and especially my own. It will be determined by how I’ve treated people my entire life and I am PROUD to say that based on that, my life has been an amazing success thus far and I cannot wait to continue to be a good person to all. Also, I saw the Black Messiah (Morgan Freeman) and he told me to keep the salt and pepper beard. I am now the most interesting man in the world, dead and alive.
Sidebar; To the guys on the court and the staff of New York Presbyterian and Cornell Medical, I have no words and there are no words that can adequately express my gratitude for literally saving my life. Although not nearly enough, all I can say is thank you. Sidebar Complete.
Sidebar 2: To the asshole at Boston Scientific who didn’t even let the anesthesia fully wear off before entering my operating room and instructing me on how to setup their arc reactor installed 15 minutes prior, you really couldn’t wait until I made it back to my room to close the sale? Like I said, you sir are an asshole! Also, the business side of healthcare is quite a disgusting practice and should probably be socialized. Sidebar Complete!
Sidebar 3: LEARN CPR! You may save someone’s life one day (like mine for instance). Sidebar Complete.
Chadwick Boseman Forever!!
It is clear that Chadwick Boseman chose iconic roles like Thurgood Marshall, James Brown, Jackie Robinson and Black Panther with deliberate intent and for a specific purpose. In an age where positive roles for Black actors is often sparse, Chadwick managed to land and portray historical figures that made most respect his talents if not revel in his ability to transition effortlessly for one character to another. Even I had to give his African accent a solid B+ (It’s the highest grade the Nigerian Standards Bureau can give for an African accent to a non African FYI.)
Holding out and preparing for these dynamic roles came with both great frustration and incredible resolve I’m certain. Not to mention the taxing ordeal of battling Colon Cancer as the grueling scheduling of filming and increasing responsibility for positive representation loomed. Even under extreme duress, Chadwick’s commitment to others appeared to outweigh his own tribulations, unbeknownst to us all.
Black Panther may have been just a movie to some and that may be because some can easily rattle off 10 movies with a king of non Af-Am origin. It represented a lot more to others. Albeit imagined, imagery on cinema often accomplishes more to augment the social narrative and society itself than actual reality. If negative stereotypes influence perception then positive ones absolutely have the same converse effect.
Even in jest, the cultural misappropriation of raisins in potato salad on SNL skits directly spoke to the tampering of black culture to which T’challa championed, represented and aptly responded “Oh hell Nah Karen!”
If you don’t understand the relevance of representation, it’s probably because you are thoroughly represented. After all, no one is ever grateful for every breath they take until they are gasping for air.
R.I.P Chadwick Boseman. Thank you for breathing life into the possibility of Black excellence.
10 Easter Eggs of Segregation in Lovecraft Country Episode 1
We’re all familiar with movies hiding easter eggs throughout their films sending winks and nods to pop-culture references. Sometimes it will be a tip-of-the-cap to an author, actor, or creator. Sometimes it is paying homage to an inspiring series, book, or film that’s near and dear to the director’s heart. This week I’ve seen a first. A T.V. series that has several easter eggs depicting segregation and oppression that only eagle-eyed aficionado’s of the black struggle might have caught on to.
Lovecraft Country is littered with important details that would fly over many people’s heads, and as I watched it again, I caught more nods to the true oppression of many African-Americans during the post-World War II era.
As a film buff, nothing makes me happier than watching a review, breakdown, or hidden easter egg video on a TV show I enjoy. Yesterday I did the same with Lovecraft Country, and while many of the melanin-deficient reviewers on youtube touched on the themes of literature, horror, and fantasy, many understandably missed some of the most important historical references.
Here are 10 Easter Eggs of Segregation in Lovecraft Country Episode 1.
1. H.P. Lovecraft’s little poem.
While we all know H.P. Lovecraft as an innovator of modern horror, fiction, and fantasy in literature, many people (including myself) didn’t know about a poem he wrote that spoke horribly about African Americans. Lovecraft Country alludes to the poem, but never recites it. Once they mentioned the title, I went straight to my Google Search. Below is the poem called: On the Creation of N*****s (1912)
When, long ago, the gods created Earth
In Jove’s fair image Man was shaped at birth.
The beasts for lesser parts were next designed;
Yet were they too remote from humankind.
To fill the gap, and join the rest to Man,
Th’Olympian host conceived a clever plan.
A beast they wrought, in semi-human figure,
Filled it with vice, and called the thing a N****r.
I’m sure Jackie Robinson beating the S**T out of Cthulhu at the beginning of the episode was a collective middle finger from the black community to Mr. Lovecraft.
2. Seating for Black People
While this may not come as a surprise to many of you, a lot of people are ignorant to the fact that, yes, black people were made to sit in the back of the bus. Many know the story of Rosa Parks’ defining moment, but for decades this was the way of life for black people. Where insult to injury is predicated in the show is when the bus breaks down and the bus driver gets a local pick-up truck driver to ride the stranded passengers into the city. Immediately in the next scene, the only two black passengers were seen walking down the road into Chicago.
3. Propaganda for the Negro Soldier
In Lovecraft Country, the above poster is not shown in this episode, but instead, it’s a black soldier telling other young black men that if they enlist, they can see the world. While Atticus walks by the soldier, there’s a glance of recognition as if Atticus was once one of those impressionable young men, and he knows their being lied to. Black men had to be enticed to enlist by different methods than whites because it was hard to show patriotism to a country that still to that day had kept them oppressed. So, they would show a poster of Joe Louis joining the fight…why don’t you? Get to see the world! Little did they know seeing the world would involve PTSD, death, and despair.
4. The Negro Motorist Greenbook
The synopsis according to IMDB.com is: “Lovecraft Country follows Atticus Black as he joins up with his friend Letitia and his Uncle George to embark on a road trip across 1950s Jim Crow America in search of his missing father.” While this is true, it’s not the whole story. Why are they embarking on this trip? It’s to help update what many people may know as, The Negro Motorist Greenbook. Yup, just like the movie, The Greenbook. If you don’t know, this book was originated by Victor Hugo Green as a travel bible for African Americans. It provided details of safe roads to travel, places for food, repairs, and lodging where they wouldn’t be turned away or even worse, assaulted.
5. James Baldwin’s monologue on racial divide
During one of the scenes in Lovecraft Country, we see a montage of our protagonist’s road trip. In the montage we see different moments where they face discrimination, others facing discrimination, and the hardships of ignorant people with all the privilege in the world monopolizing on their entitlements. Usually, during movie montages, a composer would play a score to envoke emotions during the collection of scenes. Lovecraft Country went in a different direction. Instead, they played the monologue of James Baldwin’s renowned speech at Cambridge University where he debated with William Buckley on the subject of the United States racial divide. James Baldwin was a brilliant playwright, novelist, speaker, and activist that eloquently described the plight of the black man as it still stands today. Merged with the scenes during the montage, it speaks volumes about the state of America.
6. Ice Cream stand Scene
In one of the scenes in the montage, we see a black man and his children waiting at an ice cream stand for service. Right over them is a sign that says “colored” and on the other side of the stand is a group of white people with ice cream being tended to by the servers. This scene looked extremely familiar to me. When I did some research, I realized this scene was based on a famous photograph by Gordon Parks, photographer and journalist who well-documented scenes of the segregation and civil rights era. Years ago I saw his work in its full brilliant quality at the High Museum in Atlanta. The color and detail brought a realism that a black-and-white photo could never do. It made this a real thing.
7. Mother and daughter under the neon sign
This scene once again pays homage to another photograph by Gordon Parks. A mother and her daughter dressed elegantly as if they were going to church, standing under a large neon sign that says ‘Colored Entrance’.
8. The billboard across from the gas station
While Atticus and company are at a gas station filling up their car, they are approached by a gas station attendant pretending to be a gorilla to mock them. Leticia holds Atticus back from approaching the man as the attendant intensifies his ignorant behavior and she forces Atticus into the car. As they pull off, you can see a Billboard for Aunt Jemima in the background. Aunt Jemima has always been a misrepresentation of black culture through the lens of the white man and advertised to his fellow man as the overall perception of black people. The image of Aunt Jemima is a source reflection of the learned behavior of the gas station attendant.
9. Sundown towns
Two years ago was the first time I’ve ever heard of a Sundown Town. No, not through a history book, but as a warning about staying too late in a little town in Texas that exists today! If I didn’t hear about this first hand, I would’ve thought it was a theme of the past, but no. There are currently county’s that do not condemn the abuse of black people once the sun goes down! While the billboard here might be a relic from the past, Sundown Towns are definitely alive and well across America!
10. White walls
Not only is this one telling, but it also holds all kinds of subliminal messages. While the group finds a Green book safe haven for dining called Lydia’s, they are surprised to find the restaurant is now called, Simmonsville Dinette. Still, they walk in and are greeted by unwelcoming faces. While the server goes to the back for what seems like their coffee orders, Atticus realizes that the walls are painted white. He asks his uncle to remind him why the white house was white. His uncle tells him about the war of 1812 when British soldiers torched it and when slaves were tasked to rebuild it, they had to paint it white to cover up the burn marks. This tells us two things. Lydia’s restaurant was burnt down and rebuilt by trespassers (obviously for being a safe haven for blacks in this all-white town) and the blackness of this restaurant was erased and covered up by the ‘white’ paint. My goodness, I could go on and on about this one!
I was expecting this series to be littered with easter eggs, but knowing they have incorporated easter eggs specifically about the black movement and struggles has me fired up to see what else is in store for these characters. Did you see any easter eggs that I missed? Comment and let me know.
OPEN LETTER TO CONGRESS
Dear Members of Congress,
The tipping point is here and we need to put aside our political differences to save this country right now! Silence and remaining behind party lines is no longer an option. A unified address by our elected officials in Congress on the issue of police brutality and equality under the rule of law is required to begin the healing process as well as ensure the future of this nation.
There are three steps that immediately need to be taken to bring this to fruition. The arrest and charging of the three remaining individuals involved in the death of George Floyd must occur as the first step of good faith. The second step requires clear and transparent action items stated to the public in order to address the issues at hand. Those action items should include:
- The revision of Qualified Immunity to specifically address the problematic assertion that “Qualified Immunity means that government officials can get away with violating your rights as long as they violate them in a way nobody thought before – Institute of Justice“
- The reforming of Civilian Review Boards with the purpose of increasing the decision-making abilities on the disposition and discipline of police officers.
The third step is the creation and funding of a systemic racism task force with the goal of dismantling systemic racism.
- Accelerating judicial system reform
- Equating the public education system
- Eliminating redlining
These are just the preliminary steps that will begin the framework of the changes we need enacted to better the experiment called the United States.
I look forward to seeing a response in the form of action on the behalf of the citizens of this country.