So I caught an article on the worldwide leaders of sports website that focused on the comments of one Michele Roberts, the NBA players union executive director. This woman is nothing if not direct. She is a proud black woman with a reputation as one of this nations top trial attorneys. She also happens to be the first woman to head a major North American sports union. I’ll bet most of you already knew that, huh?

I’m bored on the job, so I’ll read just about anything the web-nanny software lets through the network, and this link passes the eye test. Once the page loads (sloooow gubment i-net) I’m treated to the following quote: “Let’s call it what it is. There. Would. Be. No. Money… Thirty more owners can come in, and nothing will change. These guys go? The game will change. So let’s stop pretending.”

Strength and resolve! I perform an imperceptible fist pump at my desk and look around to make sure no one saw me. Someone speaking truth to power! Leave it to a professionally argumentative black woman. You already know how much she cares about what they think. As pride takes a hold of my chest, I start to think of the implications of her statement. Does she have a point? Without LeBron the league is a different place, but life would go on. But in the case of an impending labor lockout that took “The King,”KD, Kobe and all 350 of their co-stars, what exactly is this league we all love?

This isn’t our first rodeo. We’ve been through work stoppages before. They happen. There’s a countdown, boring editions of Sportscenter and eventually a shortened season with major injuries to guys that are out of shape. But here’s where it gets interesting; the players supposedly took a bath after the last lockout and the last labor boss got canned for incompetence. Our new favorite Union Exec is anything but incompetent, which leads me to take her at her word… very literally.

What if….

The way she’s talking….

Could they????     

Absolutely not, probably.

Screw it.

What would it take for the players to start their own league? Yeah, it sounds ridiculous. But this pretty lady didn’t make it this far in life just issuing idle threats. This next lockout is going to decide the split on $2.6 billion dollars. Players are sick of getting hosed and the owners are tired of being broke! I definitely can identify with both sides.

All right now, I’m all in and my boss is off today… I think? I have all day to flesh this out. You got to love government work.

1. Markets

Where would these new teams play? Major cities are out of the question. The only city they could walk into and make any real noise would be Seattle. To a lot of players that would seal it right there. They could start-up a twelve-team league and place half of the teams in the Northeast Washington metro area and the other half in the Greater Denver Area. (Crickets)

2. Ownership Model

Ok! They’re doing it! Now if they are going to own the team, how do they divide all that money? Who’s getting paid? Wait…what?

If the players are the bosses, there’s got to be 10 -15 equal bosses. That means that the pie gets split 6.67% minus 10% each… after taxes and expenses (which there promises to be quite a lot of). Oh, yeah. “Player/Owner” means if you don’t play, you don’t own. Once you get cut, those checks stop. As in immediately!

3. Independent Trust

Listen, this plan is dedicated to brothers with big egos. Therefore don’t expect 10-15 multi-millionaires with dreams of becoming billionaires overnight (snicker) to agree on anything. League bylaws state each team has to hire an independent agency to represent them in all operational decisions. No breathing easy till after the start of the league year. Before that, the “Turk” is bloodthirsty.

4. Media

I think we all know what to expect here. Every move these owners will make is going to be nauseatingly over-analyzed. Positive PR is vital. These guys have got to be smart enough to NOT TALK to anyone about anything. There is literally nothing they could say that would paint them in a good light. Hire a professional and get out-of-the-way.

I’m only about halfway through this and I already can’t fathom anything like this working. My new lady love’s premise is based on the notion that all owner positions entail sitting on their asses and collecting checks. We haven’t even scratched the surface of what’s involved in recreating a league and it’s become quite obvious how flawed that view is. I only have to worry about the nosy dude that works behind me, so I’ll keep it going.

5. Marketing

How do they get behinds-in-seats? In this country, the XFL drew crowds, so this task might not be as hard as it may seem. These are the best basketball players in the world. Even if you think that they are a bunch of spoiled, entitled, ‘out of touch with reality’ brats, it’s still amazing to watch them compete. But even NBA teams have “bobble head doll” night. After the first few games are played and it’s an early flop or surprisingly watchable, they have to give the paying fans a reason to keep coming back.

6. Broadcasting

Finally we get to some actual numbers. This is where reality hits. The life of any league is not its talent. It’s the ability to get the images of that talent into people’s homes. These guys need TV deals. The NBA is getting billions of dollars a year from Disney (ABC & ESPN) and TNT. These upstarts won’t see a quarter of that until they prove themselves. Maybe pay per view? But can they make payroll on “potential revenue?”

And right here is where I stop. If they can’t get billions of dollars out of this effort from the jump ball… why bother? Not that I personally believe in that, but I don’t believe more than ten percent of these players believe in that as well. Creating a league would require a vision that extends decades into the future. There would have to be a “big picture” mentality. Unfortunately that would be eliminated as soon as it was explained that ownership would end when their playing days were over. Players are interested in getting rich and owners are focused on creating wealth. These are two very independent concepts. Of course I’m unfairly generalizing all of the players. Not all of them would fail to see the potential of revolutionizing their industry. But while legacy may be important, the mortgage payment is due NOW. Not 30 years from now, but 30 days from now. That’s a real life 30 for 30!

It’s lunchtime and I planned on covering the planning period, player unity and funding sources. But I’m hungry NOW! Not later! I need mine right now! See, I’m broke and I can feel where these players are coming from. That is why the owners will always win. That’s why they’re owners.

Michele I love you. Even more than everybody’s favorite Michele. You remind me more of my aunts and the women I grew up listening to than that Michele. But if you can’t get these players to start thinking more long-term, this next basketball pause is going to last long-term.