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Do You Share A Facebook Profile With Your Spouse?
The King and The Queen of the Prom
There’s something very unsettling to me about a couple that share a Facebook profile. Why? I can’t quite put my finger on it. What I do know is that it screams insecurity, co-dependency, and clingy… not very appealing qualities.
Until recently, I had only seen this somewhat strange occurrence once in my own friend’s list and thought that maybe this was an isolated incident. Then I noticed it again in the comments of another friends post. Apparently, BrendaAndEddie shared the same opinion about which bottle of wine my friend was in the mood for tonight. A bottle of red, it is.
With a shared profile, there’s no way to tell who posted what. Maybe it was Eddie that suggested red, and when Brenda came home she vehemently argued against it, re-posting that the earlier suggestion was made by an uncouth Neanderthal without the good sense to know that white goes best with chicken. A trivial argument, yes, but one that led to their divorce and eventual reunion at a table in the street in their once favorite Italian 
restaurant… but that’s another story.
There’s a small part of me that wants to believe this was solely the idea of the female in this relationship. Misogynist, I know, but I will also place blame on the guy for agreeing to this nonsense in the first place. I’ve heard some people say that this is the new “commitment ring” or the 2000’s version of giving a girl your high school Letter Jacket. What a crock of poo! I felt bad for judging them. It’s their life, it’s their profile so whatever, right?
I wish I had the nerve to ask my friend why her and her husband (whom I’m also friends with) shared an account, but I couldn’t bring myself to pry. I began to make up excuses for them. Maybe they run a business together? Maybe they have 
individual accounts and this joint profile is an easy way for their children to keep in contact with them both at the same time? Maybe one of them is an emotionally unstable psychopath that doesn’t trust their partner enough to let them have their own profile? Yeah. That one.
While I didn’t take an official poll, I did ask a few friends what they thought about couples that shared a profile. Insecurity of one of the people in the relationship seemed to be the overwhelming conclusion.
So what do you think of couples that share a social media profile? Are you one? I’d really like to find out the motivation behind this. The Pew Research Center did a survey on this subject and came up with some numbers of couples that share profiles and why. You can check it out by clicking the pic below. (Article courtesy of Huffington Post)
Almost every year for the past 6 years and on the same day, I’ve posted the same pic of me in the hospital during my temporary and untimely demise in 2015. A few weeks after I was back to “normal”, I asked Eric “Why’d you take the pics?” And he said, “I knew you would want to write about it if you lived.” Eric was right. Eric was often right and Eric always had my best interest at heart. I am going to miss my friend.
You ever meet someone and become friends immediately?! Well this was not the case with Eric. Before he was my manager at Morgan Stanley, I would often see this 6’4″, giant white guy walk up to the only black woman at work, say something then walk away without any hint of human emotion. Naturally I thought he was a jerk until I asked her “Yo, is that dude bothering you?” She laughed and proceeded to tell me he was a great person, which I ultimately got to experience first hand. Little did I know this Italian from Staten Island was more Brooklyn than most Brooklynites.
Eric was not with the shits!! If there were ever someone who lived their life in direct, honest and no uncertain terms, that would be Eric. He would ask me questions at work like “Why are the other consultants making more money than you?” I knew the answer to that question and so did he. Eric then proceeded to increase my salary by 15K. After arguing with all our managers that “You need to hire Alfred!”, they eventually did 1 year prior to the 2015 incident. In the hospital, one of my friends asked me, “What if you didn’t have health insurance when this happened?” I would be in debt for the rest of my life is the obvious answer. I still am in debt for the rest of my life but at least, it is to those who made sure I had a more enjoyable life and for that, I will gladly repay.
My mom loved to tell me the story of how she met Eric. After they told her I was going to be in the ICU for some time, she told the doctor “Well I’m not going anywhere.” She then hears a voice from that back of the room that says “Well I’m not going anywhere either!” That was Eric and in true form, he was at that hospital every single day until I was discharged.
Eric passed away in December 2021 of stage 4 cancer. After feeling faint on his way to my bbq, he went to get checked out and was diagnosed. During the past 5 years, Eric lost his mom, twin brother and dad. I can’t even begin to imagine what that must have felt like but I’m glad that pain he was feeling is no more.
From being my manager to my business partner, writer, book editor, artistic director, and most importantly, my friend, I am going to miss you MC Krispy E a.k.a “Enrique Pollazo!” And although you told me Enrique means Henry in Spanish and not Eric, it was too late!
Sidebar. The day I was discharged, while everyone was deciding what was best for me, no one had remembered that I would need clothes in order to leave the hospital. Eric shows up (unasked) with all the clothes I had on the day I coded, laundered and ready to go. I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve friends like this but i need to keep doing it! Sidebar complete.
Rest in Peace Eric. “Be Good.”
I had the distinct pleasure of participating in a panel discussion on writing your first book, presented by the Harlem chapter of Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity Inc. Alongside Jim St. Germain, Author – A Stone of Hope: A Memoir and Dr. Keneshia Nicole Grant, Author – The Great Migration and the Democratic Party: Black Voters and the Realignment of American Politics in the 20th Century. We opined on pain points, benefits and strategies regarding our inaugural voyages into authorship. Feel free to watch for your self and I hope this provides some insight to all those looking to make the same voyage. Enjoy!
