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Op Ed

An Atheist on Christmas – 2016 Edition

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When I was a kid, they told me that a fairy would leave a dollar under my pillow if I put a tooth there. Otherwise, I have to be honest, I was blissfully unaware of the tooth market, or why, frankly, these transactions occurred while one of us was sleeping.

I bought into it, all childy as I was, in the same way I thought ghosts and monsters were real. If you can convince a child that fairies pay a buck a tooth, you can convince them of anything.

I believed anything. You name it.

And I believed anything. You name it. I was certain Bigfoot walked around the woods by my house. That the Creature from the Black Lagoon could grab my leg in the swimming pool. That any one of my friends could possibly be a werewolf. And why not? My family had me believing a total stranger flew magically to my house every Christmas with presents if I cleaned my room sometimes.

As with the Tooth Fairy, I’m to sleep through the transaction. That’s getting suspicious, no? It’s a wonder I was able to get any sleep at all, never sure when the next cheap pixie might prance in unannounced.

This generous stranger visited every house on the block (but the Greenspans), and while I was made to believe there was a shop somewhere far away, it was obvious he shopped in the neighborhood. Probably on his break at the mall.

My world was turning upside down Inception-style.

I may not have been the smartest kid on the block, but I had hoped I was at least sharper than my brother who once accidentally used a pumice stone instead of soap to clean his face. Yet he knew the truth before I did. My brother, who ate a mouthful of hot Chinese mustard when I convinced him it was “candy.” He knew the truth before me. So either my parents decided he (and not me) could handle the news, or he figured it out himself. Either way, I was clueless until he keyed me in.

“Wait, there’s no Tooth Fairy?” I asked.
“No. That’s Mommy and Daddy.”
“What about the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus?”

He was silent a moment then shook his head, bummed to be bursting my bubble, and careful to let me down easy.

Still, my world was turning upside down Inception-style. One by one all the things I believed in were being exposed as lies. Everything was a lie. Everyone was apparently lying to me. Family, friends, TV.

At the very least this explained why I found presents from Santa weeks before Christmas under my parent’s bed.

“So… what about God?” I asked.
“Oh, he’s real,” my brother said.

But now I wasn’t so sure.

About anything.

I was born and am alive but one day I'll be dead.

Op Ed

A Riot of Entitlement

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1. If a foreign government had pulled off what occurred on Capitol Hill last week, that nation would currently be a rubble laden parking lot, bombed into the stone-age.

2. If BLM had pulled off what occurred last week, we would currently be having conversations like “Y’all remember freedom?” and “You ONLY got shot 6 times?!! Sheeeeit. Everybody else got at least 9… yeah we all in the studio recording now…”

3. Why is the foreign policy response more stringent than domestic policy when the threat is much worse due to proximity?

4. Why is the current law enforcement response akin to aiding and abetting simply because the assailants resemble, and in some cases are “law” enforcement? Do bullets not kill when your cousin is the shooter?

5. True privilege is complaining about your rights taken away right AFTER and BECAUSE you used those rights to violate others. Rights were granted by LAW and as such, can be rescinded… by LAW! Why does this even have to be explained?

Sidebar: For future reference, this is how you properly storm the Capitol! With Beyonce and legal votes!! Ahhhh 2012. The good old days! Make Inaugurations Great Again (MIGA Please!!) Sidebar Complete.

Alfred Obiesie is a writer with over 12 years of online content contribution (Onetrackmine.com, Cartermag.com, Essence.com) and author (You Made It a Hot Line; The most influential lines in hip hop.) The book chronicles hip hop lines from the genre’s most notable artists spanning almost 40 years. It is illustrated by Grammy award winning Illustrator Shah Wonders and has garnered praise from multiple media outlets (Sirius XM, Vibe, Brooklyn Public Library, Schomburg Center for Research in Black Culture, New York Public Library, etc...)

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Op Ed

Reluctant to get the Vaccine?

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Do me a favor, Open your fridge door and tell me if you have any insight into the regulation of those products and how they got there?

Whatever vaccine you decide to take (or not take) will probably be more federally regulated and scrutinized than 90% of the items you currently ingest. You share joints with people, eat food with ingredients you can’t pronounce, order wigs and sweaters from all over the world in the name of fashion, then turn around and loudly protest and profess about a vaccine and science, some thing of which you know little about.

Here’s the fun part; you don’t want to take it but you DEFINITELY want to commingle with those who have taken it as precaution and those who are still susceptible. Why? Because f*ck ‘em that’s why! Must be nice to not care about others while simultaneously requesting they respect your choices.

I would be riding with y’all if you actually had control, but more importantly, CONCERN for all things consumed prior but we seem to lapse our standards when there is a clear and direct benefit to our preexisting lifestyle. Y’all are wild inconsistent!!

Sidebar; Most of us will die of complications from a poor diet, alcohol and cigarettes but I don’t see anyone putting the BBQ sauce down or skipping happy hour. Sidebar Complete.

Alfred Obiesie is a writer with over 12 years of online content contribution (Onetrackmine.com, Cartermag.com, Essence.com) and author (You Made It a Hot Line; The most influential lines in hip hop.) The book chronicles hip hop lines from the genre’s most notable artists spanning almost 40 years. It is illustrated by Grammy award winning Illustrator Shah Wonders and has garnered praise from multiple media outlets (Sirius XM, Vibe, Brooklyn Public Library, Schomburg Center for Research in Black Culture, New York Public Library, etc...)

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Op Ed

November 16th – Trump Wins!

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Well, it’s official; President Donald Trump wins again!

While former Vice-President Joe Biden received more votes than any candidate ever, including winning the controversial electoral college, incumbent Trump has declared victory on Twitter as recently as this morning when he proclaimed “I WON THE ELECTION!”

And this is great news for the over 70 million of us that voted for Trump. We saw our horse lose the race, saw it confirmed, and yet here we are in the Winner’s Circle… again! There is a God, and thankfully it’s the one I believe in and not one of the weird ones.

Make America great again, AGAIN!

I’m sure I speak for millions of Americans when I say we look forward to four more years of keeping America great. Let’s face it, America was a shithole country four years ago before Trump made it great again. He promised that we’d be sick of all the winning, and he was, as always, right.

I’m praying that we can all look forward to four more years of the same kind of peace, harmony, and fair distribution of wealth we have enjoyed during his first term. Covfefe!!

 

 

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