Featured
The Cellphone Is Killing Your Family
We walked into the restaurant and were promptly seated at a booth we’ve sat at a dozen times before. She took her seat first facing the rear of the eatery and I sat second, facing the door. It was our usual setup. The funny thing about Drill Instructors is that they have a way of, well… drilling information into your brain. And at Paris Island Recruit Depot, Marine Corps Drill Instructors got it into my brain that you should always be aware of your surroundings. Always! I sit facing the door. Those are the rules. She knows this about me. I love her for it.
Most people would probably feel slighted at being seated in the rear of a nearly empty restaurant. Not me. In my mind it’s a nod from the host or hostess that they’ve received a call from the Commander in Chief himself, notifying them that a Marine would be dining at their fine “Chicago Bar and Grill” this evening. That they shouldn’t acknowledge who I was, but treat me like any other guest and that I should be seated at a place where I could keep guard over all the patrons. He’d also request that there should be an American Flag hoisted above my table and a Bald Eagle perched right below it. ‘Murica! Fuck Yeah! None of that has ever happened, of course, and quite frankly, I’m glad about the latter. Bald Eagles are the descendants of Pterodactyls for Christ’s sake (I don’t even know if that’s true) and pretty goddamn scary up close (that IS true)…but I digress.
My lady thinks it’s sweet that I want to be protective. I continue to let her believe this. It’s only lying if you get caught, right? The fact of the matter is I like sitting at the rear for two reasons.
I’d yell “DONALD TRUMP IS COMING!!” as I was running through it to save as much of the kitchen staff as I could.
Number one, should some disgruntled employee or crazed gunman come through the door, I know there’s an exit through the kitchen. I’d yell “DONALD TRUMP IS COMING!!” as I was running through it to save as much of the kitchen staff as I could. I can only presume that this phrase would be frightening enough to get them to follow me outside where I would then explain to them in very bad Spanglish that I just needed them to get out as quickly as possible… and to also ask one of them to please go back and see if my lady was ok.
The second reason is that I like to people watch and what better place to view the whole room than the back of the building? On this night, a party of 7 were already seated a few tables away, well into their appetizers and beverages by the time we had arrived. One middle-aged male, three “lightly seasoned” adult females, one young boy of 7 or 8 years and 2 young girls approximately 5 and 12 years of age.
She sat at the corner of the table with both ear buds in her ears and holding onto a phone that was too large for her chubby little hands.
She sat at the corner of the table with both ear buds in her ears and holding onto a phone that was too large for her chubby little hands. Occasionally looking up with eyes glazed over, staring off into space as if no one (not even her own family) was in the restaurant at all….then back down to the phone again with equal disinterest. I wondered what had captured her attention so much that she did not even think to engage with the events going on around her. She had barely touched her food.
Kids today (and a lot of adults) never seem to live in the moment. Our attention span is long enough for half a Vine video and then we’re on to the next thing.
Whatever the case may be, I wondered how she would remember family events like this. Fast forward 25 years, how would she relay to her own children what life was like when she was a kid? Would she even remember these moments at all? Kids today (and a lot of adults) never seem to live in the moment. Our attention span is long enough for half a Vine video and then we’re on to the next thing. So many adults spend the better portion of their day with their face in front of some type of screen, TV, computer, or phone and it just seems to get worse with every generation.
Who knows? Perhaps that little girl will grow up to be a future Marine. Perhaps she needs some grizzled old drill instructor to get it into her brain that she should always be aware of her surroundings. Always!
Almost every year for the past 6 years and on the same day, I’ve posted the same pic of me in the hospital during my temporary and untimely demise in 2015. A few weeks after I was back to “normal”, I asked Eric “Why’d you take the pics?” And he said, “I knew you would want to write about it if you lived.” Eric was right. Eric was often right and Eric always had my best interest at heart. I am going to miss my friend.
You ever meet someone and become friends immediately?! Well this was not the case with Eric. Before he was my manager at Morgan Stanley, I would often see this 6’4″, giant white guy walk up to the only black woman at work, say something then walk away without any hint of human emotion. Naturally I thought he was a jerk until I asked her “Yo, is that dude bothering you?” She laughed and proceeded to tell me he was a great person, which I ultimately got to experience first hand. Little did I know this Italian from Staten Island was more Brooklyn than most Brooklynites.
Eric was not with the shits!! If there were ever someone who lived their life in direct, honest and no uncertain terms, that would be Eric. He would ask me questions at work like “Why are the other consultants making more money than you?” I knew the answer to that question and so did he. Eric then proceeded to increase my salary by 15K. After arguing with all our managers that “You need to hire Alfred!”, they eventually did 1 year prior to the 2015 incident. In the hospital, one of my friends asked me, “What if you didn’t have health insurance when this happened?” I would be in debt for the rest of my life is the obvious answer. I still am in debt for the rest of my life but at least, it is to those who made sure I had a more enjoyable life and for that, I will gladly repay.
My mom loved to tell me the story of how she met Eric. After they told her I was going to be in the ICU for some time, she told the doctor “Well I’m not going anywhere.” She then hears a voice from that back of the room that says “Well I’m not going anywhere either!” That was Eric and in true form, he was at that hospital every single day until I was discharged.
Eric passed away in December 2021 of stage 4 cancer. After feeling faint on his way to my bbq, he went to get checked out and was diagnosed. During the past 5 years, Eric lost his mom, twin brother and dad. I can’t even begin to imagine what that must have felt like but I’m glad that pain he was feeling is no more.
From being my manager to my business partner, writer, book editor, artistic director, and most importantly, my friend, I am going to miss you MC Krispy E a.k.a “Enrique Pollazo!” And although you told me Enrique means Henry in Spanish and not Eric, it was too late!
Sidebar. The day I was discharged, while everyone was deciding what was best for me, no one had remembered that I would need clothes in order to leave the hospital. Eric shows up (unasked) with all the clothes I had on the day I coded, laundered and ready to go. I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve friends like this but i need to keep doing it! Sidebar complete.
Rest in Peace Eric. “Be Good.”
I had the distinct pleasure of participating in a panel discussion on writing your first book, presented by the Harlem chapter of Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity Inc. Alongside Jim St. Germain, Author – A Stone of Hope: A Memoir and Dr. Keneshia Nicole Grant, Author – The Great Migration and the Democratic Party: Black Voters and the Realignment of American Politics in the 20th Century. We opined on pain points, benefits and strategies regarding our inaugural voyages into authorship. Feel free to watch for your self and I hope this provides some insight to all those looking to make the same voyage. Enjoy!
