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Daniel Ortiz Rants on: The Nun

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A priest with a haunted past and a novice on the threshold of her final vows are sent by the Vatican to investigate the death of a young nun in Romania and confront a malevolent force in the form of a demonic nun.

Before I get into this review, lets talk briefly about The Conjuring cinematic universe. Now, the first Conjuring, I didn’t find it scary, but I did find it very entertaining. The second Conjuring I found to be pretty creepy. Both of these movies were directed by James Wan who also directed Insidious 1 & 2. When it comes to horror, some of his stories have continuity problems, and plot conveniences, but the man really knows how to utilize creepiness and maintain real and unexpected jump scares. It gets you invested in the movie based on fear alone. He’s so good at it, he was able to spawn spinoff films, first with the Annabelle series and now with The Nun.

The problem is that he doesn’t lend his directorial skills to these extended films, and well…they end up falling flat. I will give credit to Annabelle 2: Uprising (as I like to call it). It was better than the first one, but it was definitely no masterpiece.

Now with that brief history of the CCU (as I like to call it) out of the way, lets keep the critique of The Nun short and sweet. It was doo doo.

At the very least I assumed that the film would touch on some things that would play against my faith, but this felt like a story that even Catholics would say, “Dude, you guys have some great imaginations!” It felt entirely too tame, extremely predictable and the story was way too outlandish.

The characters were boring, bland and unforgettable. The demon nun was even boring and lacked a coherent or credible background story. It made me realize that you can take the same character, and one Director make magic it while the other makes smoke and mirrors.

Lets keep the critique of The Nun short and sweet. It was doo doo.

The jump-scares were literally stand-scares. I predicted every single moment that was supposed to be a, “catch you off guard” scare scene, and found myself highly annoyed by the trope of following an ambiguous figure pacing vigorously away from the main protagonists while the protagonist chased them down some dark corridor or smoky forest.

As usual, they try to tie this back to the original Conjuring movie, but it was weak, and you barely remember the original scene in the first place.

Overall Grade: D

It wasn’t good. That’s the end all of it. I would suggest staying home and re-watching The Conjuring 1 & 2. You will get much more out of watching these films. I would also suggest leaving these cinematic universes to Marvel and D.C……just Marvel.


The Nun
Horror, Mystery, Thriller
September 2018
Director: Corin Hardy
New Line Cinema
1 hour 36 minutes
IMDB reference click here

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Chadwick Boseman Forever!!

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It is clear that Chadwick Boseman chose iconic roles like Thurgood Marshall, James Brown, Jackie Robinson and Black Panther with deliberate intent and for a specific purpose. In an age where positive roles for Black actors is often sparse, Chadwick managed to land and portray historical figures that made most respect his talents if not revel in his ability to transition effortlessly for one character to another. Even I had to give his African accent a solid B+ (It’s the highest grade the Nigerian Standards Bureau can give for an African accent to a non African FYI.)

Holding out and preparing for these dynamic roles came with both great frustration and incredible resolve I’m certain. Not to mention the taxing ordeal of battling Colon Cancer as the grueling scheduling of filming and increasing responsibility for positive representation loomed. Even under extreme duress, Chadwick’s commitment to others appeared to outweigh his own tribulations, unbeknownst to us all.

Black Panther may have been just a movie to some and that may be because some can easily rattle off 10 movies with a king of non Af-Am origin. It represented a lot more to others. Albeit imagined, imagery on cinema often accomplishes more to augment the social narrative and society itself than actual reality. If negative stereotypes influence perception then positive ones absolutely have the same converse effect.

Even in jest, the cultural misappropriation of raisins in potato salad on SNL skits directly spoke to the tampering of black culture to which T’challa championed, represented and aptly responded “Oh hell Nah Karen!”

If you don’t understand the relevance of representation, it’s probably because you are thoroughly represented. After all, no one is ever grateful for every breath they take until they are gasping for air.

R.I.P Chadwick Boseman. Thank you for breathing life into the possibility of Black excellence.

Alfred Obiesie is a writer with over 12 years of online content contribution (Onetrackmine.com, Cartermag.com, Essence.com) and author (You Made It a Hot Line; The most influential lines in hip hop.) The book chronicles hip hop lines from the genre’s most notable artists spanning almost 40 years. It is illustrated by Grammy award winning Illustrator Shah Wonders and has garnered praise from multiple media outlets (Sirius XM, Vibe, Brooklyn Public Library, Schomburg Center for Research in Black Culture, New York Public Library, etc...)

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The Mandalorian Gets Star Wars Right

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Star Wars is pretty silly, and that’s okay. If we want Shakespeare, we already have it. I don’t expect some fantasy silliness to ever take the place of nutritious art. Still, I like candy, too, and that’s what we get from those films whittled from the paper-thin mythologies of the original.

Enter The Mandalorian, like some nameless Sergio Leone anti-hero through a planked saloon door, stopping the piano player and all conversation in its tracks. There’s a stranger in town. Could be Clint Eastwood, could be Charles Bronson. In this case, it’s Pedro Pascal, a Chilean actor best known for Game of Thrones and Narcos. You’d never know it, though, since as of episode 7 we’ve yet to see “Mando” sans helmet. This only adds to a coolness originally displayed by another famous Mandalorian, Boba Fett. Boba actually debuted between Star Wars and The Empire Strikes Back in a hastily produced Christmas cartoon.

Not everyone likes it when silly wants to be taken seriously. Still, there’s a way to do it that’s not as jarring as Adam West v. Christian Bale.

Jon Favreau, whose Iron Man truly kicked off the Marvel Cinematic Universe, acts as executive producer and showrunner of The Mandalorian, and he knows just how to balance the whole thing with an aesthetic more Alex Ross than Jack Kirby. As head writer, Favreau successfully walks that tightrope between nostalgia and the now. He tempers seriousness with one of the most adorable little puppets you ever did see. I’m talking about “The Child,” better known via recent memes as “Baby Yoda.” In the same way that the Mandalorian isn’t Boba Fett, the Child isn’t Yoda – yet both have those original characters baked into their DNA.


At 15 million clams an episode, you get some excellent production value. Cinematography, music, and special effects are all on point, as are cameos from the likes of Amy Sedaris, Bill Burr, Werner Herzog, Nick Nolte, Carl Weathers, Giancarlo Esposito, and Taika Waititi. Waititi also directed the final episode of Season 1, to be released December 27th.

The Mandalorian may be the best byproduct of the original series. Check it out on Disney+.

Using a host of pen names, Eric Curran has been blogging in one form or another for well over 10 years. He's a partner at One Track Mine, and also runs the blog Jealous Foodies.

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Aaron Paul Breaks Bad Once Again

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Vince Gilligan brings us the further adventures of Jesse Pinkman as only he can, and the results are pretty entertaining.

Released on Netflix and in theaters on Friday, El Camino: A Breaking Bad Movie steps back and forward in time to resolve Pinkman’s story in two tension packed hours. Thankfully, Gilligan doesn’t bite off more than he can chew, and manages to pack more action into this story than in four frickin’ seasons of Better Call Saul.

You know that feeling you get when an episode of Saul ends and you feel like you’ve just been tricked into watching lawyers talking for an hour? You won’t have that with El Camino.

Now, if they could just spin off Jonathan Banks the same way.

Some familiar faces show up here and there, and they thankfully don’t chew up too much of the scenery. Worth noting that Robert Forster does a fine job in El Camino, and he unfortunately passed away the day the film was released. Peace out, Mr. Forster.

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