“When the island’s dormant volcano begins roaring to life, Owen and Claire mount a campaign to rescue the remaining dinosaurs from this extinction-level event.”
My God, what did I just witness? Let me start off by saying I haven’t been close to thrilled by any Jurassic Park movie since the first one. I even admitted right before the film started that I wouldn’t care much for this movie, but because of the basic nostalgia and sheer hope that they can redeem themselves in making an actual suspenseful film; I held onto faith in Spielberg. Oh my God, was it in vain.
I barely saw the trailers so I didn’t see much past the volcano erupting and the dino’s running. The first thing I did was get on my knees and pray that there were no more children in this franchise. THEY BRING IT DOWN! My prayers went unheard. The second thing I prayed for was that there be less ‘close calls’ and dumb smart dinosaurs. I believe the Lord doesn’t love me. Just kidding, but it’s that serious of a disappointment.
Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom was EXACTLY what I expected. A ton of running, ALMOST getting snatched up by dinosaurs, and a butt-load of plot-conveniences for the characters. There were so many decisions that made absolutely no sense and characters showing up at the right place at the right time. The jokes fell short, the action was mediocre, and all the characters were boring. Not even Chris Pratt’s charm could overcome the lack of empathy I had for this movie.
Oh, and guess what? Another new dinosaur was created to increase drama, with better senses and a smarter brain, but still managed to succumb to a primitive way to die. Also, the plot twist… clones are happening in more ways than one.
Look, I’m clearly upset. What made the first Jurassic Park great were three things 1) The ability to develop likable characters that the audience cared for 2) The constant discussion of playing God, messing with nature and the consequences of these actions and 3) The level of suspense built through environment and the unknown.
The jokes fell short, the action was mediocre, and all the characters were boring.
This film had one hard choice to make at the end, which consequentially would put an end to this franchise and send the dinosaurs back to extinction (which I was ready for because this story needs to be closed), but no; the decision was unanimously overturned by a damn kid!
The only redeeming quality was cool visuals… sometimes.
Overall Grade: D+
I don’t want to think about this film anymore. I know its going to make a zillion dollars this weekend and people are going to pretend to like it, but its a huge waste of time and definitely a cash grab. This franchise has turned into your run of the mill Fast and Furious and Transformers style of lazy story telling. And why should they feel compelled to put in more effort when they’re making money?
The only way I see these films getting any better is if they go to an R rating and stop keeping its biggest characters safe. There will be another film guaranteed, but I think this will be the last JP movie I put an effort into seeing.
Jurassic World: The Fallen Kingdom
Action, Adventure, Sci-Fi
June 2018
Director: J.A. Bayona
Universal Pictures
2 hours 8 minutes