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Top 10 Moments From Game Of Thrones Season 6 Pt. 2

We round out the top 10 Game of Thrones moments from Season 6
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Welcome back to the Game Of Thrones Top 10 moments of season 6!!! When we last left off, we discussed the Madness of Cersei, Hodor holding the door, Jon Targaryen and a host of other astounding developments in Season 6. We round off the top 10 in this latest offering to the fanatics of Westeros.


Fallout Boy a.k.a. Tommen Lannister

It appears that Tommen a.k.a Fallout Boy will not be coming back in the next season as he has opted out of his life without Marjaery’s punany contract. I mean let’s face it, he’s a sweet kid. So basically, he never stood a chance. Tommen was way too susceptible to whomever was in his ear at the moment. From Tywin to Cersei to Marjaery to the Artist Formally Known As The High Sparrow, Tommen was in no way like his brother King Joffery who listened to no one. As much of a jerk as Joffery was, he certainly had more conviction in decision making, albeit the wrong decision all the time. Had Tommen picked a side (any side and not every side) it may have saved his life. Ah well. Valar Morghulis, que sera sera.

 

I don’t mess with chicks from Dorne

They’re beautiful. They’re mesmerizing. Do you like  threesomes? Well they’ll come into your room and ask you how you want it. Unfortunately, they will be speaking of how you would like to die. Martell women of Dorne don’t share that much time on the screen but when they do, rest assured, someone is about to be promoted and something is about to be inherited. They poisoned a princess, killed their own prince and his son in like three minutes of screen time. They’re like a lost tribe of fighting Cersei Lannisters. No, thank you.

 

“You Reek A! My name is Theon!” / Brienne saves Sansa’s skin

Buckle up, gonna be a lot of dick jokes in this paragraph.

After several seasons of being emasculated, humiliated, and castrated, Reek/Theon finally grew a pair (poor choice of words) and decided to reclaim what was left of his manhood (buckle up, gonna be a lot of dick jokes in this paragraph.) We saw hints of his awakening at the end of Season 5 when he rescued Sansa. Ramsey Bolton slowly and methodically tortured Theon  / Reek to no end (sorta like Michael Bolton). As if severing your gonads and hunting your woman with bow and arrows and ravenous dogs weren’t enough, being forced to watch Sansa undergo similar treatment was the straw that broke the camel’s sack ..I mean back. Theon’s moment of zen came when he tossed Ramsey’s Harlot over the ledge as she prepared to harm Sansa and got her to the point where Lady Brienne could save both of them. Way to go Theon! I mean you burned two kids alive and betrayed the family that raised you, but hey, baby balls.. I mean baby steps.  Too bad your blue balls led back to Greyjoy in more ways than one. I’m sure The Unsullied and Varys have a support group you can attend, so keep your head up. It’s like the people from your town say, “What is dead may never die but rises again harder and stronger.” Yeah, you may want to ask the Iron Islands for a new catch phrase. That ain’t gonna work for you no more.


Raising Bran

As the late Hodor can testify under oaf, Brandon Stark is a jerk! The war of the seven kingdoms is basically all his fault. The Late Caitlyn asked him not to climb walls and his Stark disobedience has since led to broken legs, severed hands, death, destruction and war. He screwed Hodor’s life. He was told not to DWB (“Don’t Warg Bran!”) but did he listen? Noooooo! And now look; the Knight King has touched you inappropriately and is now all up in the crib with his feet on the three eyed Raven like Rick James on Eddie Murphy’s couch. The spell is broken and probably will be in other places (like the Wall for instance). Plus it’s a damn shame what they did to that dog/wolf! Bran, this is all your fault.


“My name is Arya Stark. You killed my father. Prepare to Die.”

Arya “ Inigo Montoya” Stark has finally finished the 37th chamber of her Shaolin sword training and just in time, too, as it’s about to be on and poppin’ in Westeros! Ayra Stark ain’t nothing to f*ck with as was made clearly evident after she not only dispatched of that crazed, psycho-terminator Waif bitch who literally tried to run her down in Bravos, but also showed the Freys her newly acquired ‘Needle” point and baking skills. “No thanks Arya. I’ll make my own meals and knit my own sweaters, if you don’t mind.” If the season finale was any indication of things to come, being on Arya’s bad side is not a good place to be. And if you don’t get the point, you will soon (OK, no more Needle jokes.)


And there you have it! Now what am I gonna do for the next twelve months? So… who wants a “Top 10 horrific moments of GOT?” Anyone? anyone? Oh well. Until next time; “What is dead may never die.”

Season 6 runner up moments

  1. Danyeris has a BBQ: Khals only
  2. Tyrion Kissenger / The Dragon Whisperer
  3. Sansa Stark show’s Littlefinger the middle finger
  4. Varys’s penis said something when they threw it in the fire (“Ouch!” I would imagine.)

 

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