As a blogger, I join a lot of internet forums devoted to belief. Iāve learned the internet does not discriminate between the genius and the deadbolt. Lower your gaze to the comments below any article for proof. Regardless of subject, youāll find thoughtful responses stacked upon racist tirades stacked on pleas for marijuana legalization. The consequence of putting your ideas out there is that you canāt control the responses.
“Many of us take the bait because we think it shows strength to defend ourselves.”
You also get what are lovingly referred to as trolls. Folks who exist just to upset the apple cart. They post about delicious pigs in vegan forums. They plant right wing memes on black lives matter pages. They need more attention than the world can give, and my suggestion, outlined in this post, is to stop feeding the fire.
As a lack of belief, atheism has little choice but to define itself in relation to the believer. This may be why some chose to call themselves Brights instead. Itās more expansive. The only thing atheists have in common is a lack of belief. Brights can find more common and uncommon ground.
Still, atheist or Bright, you are susceptible to the same traps. Your lack of belief threatens the believer, and they are not shy to attack you. This explains why so many atheists are considered defensive – because they are literally always playing defense. As weird as it is to say this; There will always be people that do not understand why you donāt believe in an invisible God in the sky.
Some of those folks will bait you and many of us take the bait because we think it shows strength to defend ourselves. The truth is, this “debate” is a trap that keeps us from moving forward. Itās like abortion in politics. The more folks obsess over it, the less they pay attention to everything else.
Iāve used this analogy before, but Iāll also compare it to the whole “glass half-empty half-full” debacle.Ā Oh, I see it as half full, Iām an optimist. Oh, itās half empty, Iām such a Samantha. The truth is any “debate” about the fullness of the glass does not change how much is actually in the glass. In fact, it only serves as a distraction that keeps you from more important topics. Whatās in the glass? Is it safe to drink? Was anyone exploited in making the glass?
“As weird as it is to say this; There will always be people that do not understand why you donāt believe in an invisible God in the sky.”
Soā¦ what is a Bright to do? Most importantly, get off defense. Iāve said it before and I say it often: Donāt be defined by someone elseās inability to understand you. Most of those folks arenāt interested in your opinions, they just wantĀ to push your buttons and prop themselves up for a moment. As soon as you take the bait, you dignify their accusations – and they have not earned that. Ignore them entirely. Donāt respond thoughtfully. Donāt respond with a joke. Donāt respond angrily. Just donāt respond. Ignoring a troll is the best insult at your disposal. That’s worth repeating: ignoring a troll is the best insult at your disposal.
“Donāt be defined by someone elseās inability to understand you.”
When youāre a child and someone calls your mom a whore, you may be tempted to defend her. No, my good man, you are incorrect. Not only is my mother not a whore,Ā sheās been in a sexless marriage since before you were born. But when you get older, at least in my experience, those insults mean less and less. I no longer care if you think my grandmother is sucking on Satan in hell. I no longer believe in spirits or Hell. And ultimately, well, y’know, thatās just, like, your opinion, man.Ā To be clear, I’m not talking about ignoring everyone that asks you a question. I’m talking specifically about trolls, or folks that have zero interest in actually learning something. It’s pretty easy to figure out which is which.
We know that not all believers are rude, and we know there are plenty of rude non-believers. The internet brings out the latent jerk in many of us.Ā Some jerks want to bog you down in an endless “debate” thatĀ keeps you from applying your ideals to the world at large. That keeps you from effecting change and ultimately from true happiness.
For those reasons alone weĀ should do everything we can to take the power away from those that wish to marginalize us. If they can’t or won’tĀ understand a simple lack of belief, there’s a whole lot more they’ll never understand. Stop wasting your time. They love any reaction they can get from you.Ā Don’t get caught in their trap. Scroll right passed the guy in the forum that asks “Why are all atheists ugly?” or “Who are you to question God?” You’ll be the better person for it and it may ultimately reduce the troll population. A troll lives off your reaction. Don’t give them one. Starve them of the thing that gives them comfort. They will slowly disappear, and if not, you will at least have exercised the muscles that make it easier to ignore them down the line.
Almost every year for the past 6 years and on the same day, Iāve posted the same pic of me in the hospitalĀ during my temporary and untimely demiseĀ in 2015. A few weeks after I was back to ānormalā, I asked Eric āWhyād you take the pics?ā And he said, āI knew you would want to write about it if you lived.ā Eric was right. Eric was often right and Eric always had my best interest at heart. I am going to miss my friend.
You ever meet someone and become friends immediately?! Well this was not the case with Eric. Before he was my manager at Morgan Stanley, I would often see this 6ā4″, giant white guy walk up to the only black woman at work, say something then walk away without any hint of human emotion. Naturally I thought he was a jerk until I asked her āYo, is that dude bothering you?ā She laughed and proceeded to tell me he was a great person, which I ultimately got to experience first hand. Little did I know this Italian from Staten Island was more Brooklyn than most Brooklynites.
Eric was not with the shits!! If there were ever someone who lived their life in direct, honest and no uncertain terms, that would be Eric. He would ask me questions at work like āWhy are the other consultants making more money than you?ā I knew the answer to that question and so did he. Eric then proceeded to increase my salary by 15K. After arguing with all our managers that āYou need to hire Alfred!ā, they eventually did 1 year prior to the 2015 incident. In the hospital, one of my friends asked me, āWhat if you didnāt have health insurance when this happened?ā I would be in debt for the rest of my life is the obvious answer. I still am in debt for the rest of my life but at least, it is to those who made sure I had a more enjoyable life and for that, I will gladly repay.
My mom loved to tell me the story of how she met Eric. After they told her I was going to be in the ICU for some time, she told the doctor āWell Iām not going anywhere.ā She then hears a voice from that back of the room that says āWell Iām not going anywhere either!ā That was Eric and in true form, he was at that hospital every single day until I was discharged.
Eric passed away in December 2021 of stage 4 cancer. After feeling faint on his way to my bbq, he went to get checked out and was diagnosed. During the past 5 years, Eric lost his mom, twin brother and dad. I can’t even begin to imagine what that must have felt like but I’m glad that pain he was feeling is no more.
Itās been a bit difficult to deal with it to be quite honest and Iāve been writing this in my head for years but never had the bravery or grace to accept that my friend wouldnāt be here soon. I also canāt imagine what it must be like to lose your entire family nucleus unexpectedly. In true Eric fashion however, I would like this to not be about me but whomever has lost someone and has been coping. Iāve always intimated that my life would not be as enriched as it was were it not for the people in it. The problem with that is there is also no way to deny that it feels empty without those who helped craft your path. Rather than focus on the negative, I would rather focus on the examples of duty, family and emotional intelligence. All concepts reinforced by Eric that have led me to have successful relationships since Iāve put them into practice.
From being my manager to my business partner, writer, book editor, artistic director, and most importantly, my friend, I am going to miss you MC Krispy E a.k.a āEnrique Pollazo!ā And although you told me Enrique means Henry in Spanish and not Eric, it was too late!
Sidebar. The day I was discharged, while everyone was deciding what was best for me, no one had remembered that I would need clothes in order to leave the hospital. Eric shows up (unasked) with all the clothes I had on the day I coded, laundered and ready to go. I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve friends like this but i need to keep doing it! Sidebar complete.
I’ve seen Terminator references used to argue against Artificial Intelligence, foreign movie clips used to “prove” the pandemic was a well executed plan and baseless clips from folk with large media followings telling me all about vaccines and how I should interact with science.
My concrete and definitive conclusion is that the person least likely to make a mistake is the person with the most training / experience, not the person with the most social media followers / apprehension.
We put too much faith in what lies behind a screen instead of those who actually engage in the practice. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with paring common sense and common science.
I get it though. I like to take part in conversations too but if you aren’t willing to do any work further than clicking a share button simply because you just want to engage, you were genuinely more effective sitting on the sidelines.
I trust NASA more than I trust Rocket Racoon. I trust Tesla more than I trust Cyberdyne and I trust DOCTORS more than I trust my friends, celebrities and any other schmuck burger with a social media platform propagating nonsense.
SIDEBAR I don’t know if y’all heard of this thing called The Internet but its amazing! People mostly keep their booby pictures on it but it also has something called GOOGLE that you can use research stuff. Some of y’all should check it out. SIDEBAR COMPLETE.
Every single time the stock market crashed, it was done by the āprofessionals.ā
If a group of folk can get together in a chat room and legally take BILLIONS OF DOLLARS FROM YOU IN YOUR OWN PROFESSION…IN DAYS, you may wanna reevaluate how professional you are.
Retail investors had nothing to do with the Great Depression, Black Friday, Black Monday, the internet bubble or the housing bubble. That was Institutional.
Iāve never seen so much call for regulation in the stock market from those who typically make the most money in my life. I believe the correct financial term is #BigMad
They arenāt upset retail investors are making money. They are upset retail investors are making the market place volatile, making it harder for THEM to make money long term.
Why was there not this level of concern when retail investors were losing their pensions and IRAs at all other instances?
Why are hedge funds even allowed to use peopleās pensions to short sell?!
If you are using your rent or mortgage to invest in the stock market, you have bigger issues. #gambleholic
Retail investors have never had a platform nor the income to throw markets off. They still donāt.
No one has a problem with the rules until it works against their own interests.
Bonus: When you gamble, you could either win or lose. Investors donāt need to be CPAs to understand that concept.
Sidebar; Pay more attention to your money management!! Sidebar complete.