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R.I.P Walter Scott

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I had to stop myself this morning. As I watched the video countless times of Walter Scott, yet another African American gunned down by law enforcement, I had to tell myself not to get upset. That getting upset does no good. I had to ask a friend to take down his anti-police post on Facebook because he may get in trouble. I had to ask myself if Kendrick Lamar was right and if I was a hypocrite for only getting upset when cops kill blacks but having no response when the murder is committed by one of my own? Then I had to stop myself from making the biggest mistake of all; I had to stop myself from suppressing the emotion and remaining complacent.

There is nothing I can say now that I haven’t alluded to before. Adding Walter Scott to a running list of Black men killed would have been better suited for my Dear America post written last year when Mike Brown was shot and killed by police. Deliberating on the differences between good and bad cops was reserved for my Ferguson’s Misery Loves Company post and countless social media debates with friends and family. So what could I possibly have to say that I haven’t said before? Am I wasting my breath? Do I even matter?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kXO3Ix_GIyI

To answer the above questions;

  • I will keep saying the same thing until it no longer needs to be said
  • I am not wasting my breath. Not enough people are exhausting theirs. I’m filling the gap
  • Damn right I matter. We all do
walter_lamer_scott

Walter Scott

We’ve been speaking the same language in America for centuries. That language is bias. Circumstances will never improve until we decide to speak equality. Like most languages, however, you don’t become fluent simply because you choose to and certainly not overnight. No matter how much we may want to change (if we do at all), there is no incentive to change and it will not happen without practice.

Even if there were a Rosetta Stone for behavioral modification, who really wants to change the way they think? Specifically when it doesn’t merit any immediate benefit, and especially when you’ve invested so much into formulating that thought process? Why should the power structures amend their approach when they have nothing to gain in the short term? After all, the only foreseeable consequence is reputational risk so what’s the big deal if a few bad cops shoot a few blacks? It’s incidental and collateral damage. That’s just it though. Your reputation is everything in this world and will eventually lead to your social and economic demise if not addressed. As long as Americans remain complicit in the form of the “good” cops and civilians who keep silent during theses instances, we unknowingly perpetuate the same cycle we purport to publicly despise.

Sidebar: Kendrick had an answer for Oprah regarding the N word. I have an answer for Kendrick as it relates to our hypocrisy and the lack of outrage for Black on Black crime. Permit me to offer 5/10 reasons why that is not now, nor was it ever, an applicable argument in any of these instances;

  1. Black on Black crime is a RESULT of extenuating circumstances caused by institutionalized racism. Police brutality is a TACTIC of institutionalized racism
  2. We PAY the police to make better decisions than the criminals …of every race
  3. If you were on trial for committing a crime, I don’t believe the “But they did it too!” argument would be an advisable strategy
  4. The fact that there is convenient and readily available terminology such as “black on black crime” yet nothing that equitably describes crimes committed by other races further proves that your information handlers have successfully corrupted your perception and diverted your efforts
  5. There is actually substantial outrage and protests regarding black on black crime. There just isn’t as much media coverage

Sidebar Complete.

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Rest Easy Eric Curran a.k.a M.C Krispy E

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Almost every year for the past 6 years and on the same day, I’ve posted the same pic of me in the hospital  during my temporary and untimely demise  in 2015. A few weeks after I was back to “normal”, I asked Eric “Why’d you take the pics?” And he said, “I knew you would want to write about it if you lived.” Eric was right. Eric was often right and Eric always had my best interest at heart. I am going to miss my friend.

You ever meet someone and become friends immediately?! Well this was not the case with Eric. Before he was my manager at Morgan Stanley, I would often see this 6’4″, giant white guy walk up to the only black woman at work, say something then walk away without any hint of human emotion. Naturally I thought he was a jerk until I asked her “Yo, is that dude bothering you?” She laughed and proceeded to tell me he was a great person, which I ultimately got to experience first hand. Little did I know this Italian from Staten Island was more Brooklyn than most Brooklynites.

Eric was not with the shits!! If there were ever someone who lived their life in direct, honest and no uncertain terms, that would be Eric. He would ask me questions at work like “Why are the other consultants making more money than you?” I knew the answer to that question and so did he. Eric then proceeded to increase my salary by 15K. After arguing with all our managers that “You need to hire Alfred!”, they eventually did 1 year prior to the 2015 incident. In the hospital, one of my friends asked me, “What if you didn’t have health insurance when this happened?” I would be in debt for the rest of my life is the obvious answer. I still am in debt for the rest of my life but at least, it is to those who made sure I had a more enjoyable life and for that, I will gladly repay.

My mom loved to tell me the story of how she met Eric. After they told her I was going to be in the ICU for some time, she told the doctor “Well I’m not going anywhere.” She then hears a voice from that back of the room that says “Well I’m not going anywhere either!” That was Eric and in true form, he was at that hospital every single day until I was discharged.

Eric passed away in December 2021 of stage 4 cancer. After feeling faint on his way to my bbq, he went to get checked out and was diagnosed. During the past 5 years, Eric lost his mom, twin brother and dad. I can’t even begin to imagine what that must have felt like but I’m glad that pain he was feeling is no more.

It’s been a bit difficult to deal with it to be quite honest and I’ve been writing this in my head for years but never had the bravery or grace to accept that my friend wouldn’t be here soon. I also can’t imagine what it must be like to lose your entire family nucleus unexpectedly. In true Eric fashion however, I would like this to not be about me but whomever has lost someone and has been coping. I’ve always intimated that my life would not be as enriched as it was were it not for the people in it. The problem with that is there is also no way to deny that it feels empty without those who helped craft your path. Rather than focus on the negative, I would rather focus on the examples of duty, family and emotional intelligence. All concepts reinforced by Eric that have led me to have successful relationships since I’ve put them into practice.

From being my manager to my business partner, writer, book editor, artistic director, and most importantly, my friend, I am going to miss you MC Krispy E a.k.a “Enrique Pollazo!” And although you told me Enrique means Henry in Spanish and not Eric, it was too late!

Sidebar. The day I was discharged, while everyone was deciding what was best for me, no one had remembered that I would need clothes in order to leave the hospital. Eric shows up (unasked) with all the clothes I had on the day I coded, laundered and ready to go. I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve friends like this but i need to keep doing it! Sidebar complete.

Rest in Peace Eric. “Be Good.”

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Writing Your First Book / Should I Self Publish?

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I had the distinct pleasure of  participating in a panel discussion on writing your first book, presented by the Harlem chapter of Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity Inc.  Alongside Jim St. Germain, Author – A Stone of Hope: A Memoir and Dr. Keneshia Nicole Grant, Author – The Great Migration and the Democratic Party: Black Voters and the Realignment of American Politics in the 20th Century.  We opined on pain points, benefits and strategies regarding our inaugural voyages into authorship. Feel free to watch for your self and I hope this provides some insight to all those looking to make the same voyage. Enjoy!

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What the NFT is a BEEPLE?

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On March 11 this year, the digital artist Beeple sold a collage of digital images from his “Everydays” series for nearly 70 million dollars as an NFT, or non-fungible token. And if that sentence confuses you, you’re not alone.

A non-fungible token is a unit of data on a digital ledger called a blockchain, where each NFT can represent a unique digital item, and thus they are not interchangeable. NFTs can represent digital files such as art, audio, video, and other forms of creative work. While the digital files themselves are infinitely reproducible, the NFTs representing them are tracked on their underlying blockchains and provide buyers with proof of ownership.” – Wikipedia

Still confused? Let the artist himself explain it, and learn how he went from NFT newbie to making the third most expensive artwork by a living artist in three months. Not to suggest Beeple is an overnight success. The “Everydays” series alone involved creating a piece of art every day since May 1, 2007 – and he hasn’t missed a day.

Check out some of Beeple’s amazing and controversial work below.

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