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Insidious – The Last Key

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“Parapsychologist Dr. Elise Rainier faces her most fearsome and personal haunting yet – in her own family home.”

Before I go into reviewing this movie, I have to inform my readers about ‘Dump Months’. This is when studios put out their worst movies and predicted bombs, figuring that critics and movie goers alike will not go to theaters to see them. These months are typically January, February and August. For the most part, terrible horror movies are released during January and February to draw in the teenage crowd just trying to get a scare after the holidays. You can tell what direction I’m going in here.

I’m a huge fan of the first two Insidious movies both directed by horror mastermind James Wan, who also directed films such as SawThe Conjuring and The Conjuring 2. Wan passing the torch on this franchise was very apparent with the change in tone in the 3rd and 4th installments. The Last Key is a far cry from its predecessors.

Let’s start with the scares. WHAT SCARES??? This movie did a great job of showing all the jump scares in the trailers. I knew when and where to expect them, and even if I didn’t see the trailers, the pause in sound and negative space was a dead giveaway. The antagonist was the corniest of all four movies. He is the weakest part of the story and I knew he would be when I saw he had keys for fingertips….keys for fingertips. Let that stupid idea sink in.

The dialogue and acting in the film was forced and disjointed. Characters weren’t meshing well and the conversations were like seeing an unavoidable train wreck. It was weird that Lin Shaye, Angus Sampson and Leigh Whannell (the only 3 reoccurring actors in the series) had the most awkward interactions and a lot of misses in the humor department.

Strangely enough this film cost more to make than the first two installments combined, yet is the worst looking. The effects and make-up are mediocre at best and I’ll mention it again…keys for freakin’ fingertips.

Overall Grade: D-

James Wan does an amazing job of surprising you with terrifying scenery, dreadful tension, and genuinely creepy characters.  Everything this film lacks and desperately needs. If they decide to continue riding the cash cow of this series, they can count me out on spending my money on this trash.  Keys for fingertips…mother of God!


Insidious – The Last Key
Horror
January 2018
Director: Adam Robitel
Blumhouse Productions, Stage 6 Films
IMDB

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Review: Godzilla vs. Kong

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Godzilla vs. Kong reminds me that I was an idiot as a child. I allowed the 4:30 Movie too significant a piece of my brain pie. I existed in a headspace where The Planet of the Apes and Gamera were more science than fiction. I was certain skyscraper-sized monsters lived in the woods a few blocks away, and that ghosts were under my bed. Somewhere in possibility-land, a black and white Lon Chaney slowly becomes a werewolf in a handful of dissolving frames.

Cut to my final form, and I can’t help but think these movies are just a total waste of time and resources. Sure, the effects can be impressive but often they have as much weight as a video game. Buildings smash into dust, an actor says a line against a green screen, then Kong sits on a throne like a stereotypical king. Ah doi!

Sure, the hollow Earth with upside-down mountains in the sky is cool – but where’s that sun coming from? The MechaGodzilla fight has some great effects, but you can watch those on Youtube without having to sit through a bunch of lines like “Kong bows to no one.”

Maybe I just can’t enjoy normal human things anymore.

 

Godzilla vs. Kong (2021) 113min | Action, Sci-Fi, Thriller | 31 March 2021 (USA) Summary: The epic next chapter in the cinematic Monsterverse pits two of the greatest icons in motion picture history against one another - the fearsome Godzilla and the mighty Kong - with humanity caught in the balance.
Countries: USA, Australia, Canada, IndiaLanguages: English, American Sign Language

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Now that Captain America is Black…

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Now that Captain America is Black

  1. Bucky Barnes will change his name to Summer Soldier Buckquan because “Nah son! we ain’t doing sh*t in the winter!”
  2. Fearing for their lives, Police officers will fire 751 shots at Cap in the 4th of many incidents to come.
  3. In a new altered timeline, Thanos will win due to Cap being detained by a routine traffic stop. “How can you afford Vibraniun on a government salary? Please step out of the vehicle sir.”
  4. Captain America will form a Rap group with Black Panther called “Black-America.” The group will not be received well but will eventually have all their intellectual property stolen for decades to come without any due repar… I mean royalties. #MESSAGE
  5. Racists will be utterly confused when they tell Captain America to “Go back to where you came from.” Equally confused, Cap will pack up all his belongings and stay put.
  6. Cap will be accused of stealing Thor’s hammer the next time he picks it up.
  7. Cap’s shield will be replaced with a Vibraniun PlayStation Controller since black men are more comfortable throwing that.
  8. The battle decree will officially be changed from “Avengers Assemble” to “Yerrrrr! It’s on sight!”
  9. After 40 years of service, Cap will travel back in time to 1998 to finally get that last dance with his true love, Laura Winslow. They will Cha Cha Slide to “Before I let Go” as the credits role.
  10. Upon retirement, those jaded with having an Af-Am do such an amazing job will appoint a failed real estate charlatan to take up the mantle. The New Cap will immediately try and grab Scarlet by her “Johansson” and declare himself the best Captain America that ever did it during his inauguration.

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Chadwick Boseman Forever!!

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It is clear that Chadwick Boseman chose iconic roles like Thurgood Marshall, James Brown, Jackie Robinson and Black Panther with deliberate intent and for a specific purpose. In an age where positive roles for Black actors is often sparse, Chadwick managed to land and portray historical figures that made most respect his talents if not revel in his ability to transition effortlessly for one character to another. Even I had to give his African accent a solid B+ (It’s the highest grade the Nigerian Standards Bureau can give for an African accent to a non African FYI.)

Holding out and preparing for these dynamic roles came with both great frustration and incredible resolve I’m certain. Not to mention the taxing ordeal of battling Colon Cancer as the grueling scheduling of filming and increasing responsibility for positive representation loomed. Even under extreme duress, Chadwick’s commitment to others appeared to outweigh his own tribulations, unbeknownst to us all.

Black Panther may have been just a movie to some and that may be because some can easily rattle off 10 movies with a king of non Af-Am origin. It represented a lot more to others. Albeit imagined, imagery on cinema often accomplishes more to augment the social narrative and society itself than actual reality. If negative stereotypes influence perception then positive ones absolutely have the same converse effect.

Even in jest, the cultural misappropriation of raisins in potato salad on SNL skits directly spoke to the tampering of black culture to which T’challa championed, represented and aptly responded “Oh hell Nah Karen!”

If you don’t understand the relevance of representation, it’s probably because you are thoroughly represented. After all, no one is ever grateful for every breath they take until they are gasping for air.

R.I.P Chadwick Boseman. Thank you for breathing life into the possibility of Black excellence.

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