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Top 10 Moments From Game Of Thrones Season 6 Pt. 1

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If you are Game of Thrones fan, you are probably in a deep depression right about now. It’s mid summer, the last season just ended, and there really is no reason to live until Season 7 is back on (in the summer of next year!!)

Ok, so maybe I’m being a bit dramatic. Plus if you hold on until September, there will be barbaric, bone breaking violence when Giants and Vikings are back on the screen (Are you ready for some football!!?) Since the real thing pales in comparison to the make-believe world of Westeros,  I’ve decided to recap the 10 best moments from Game of Thrones Season 6. Enjoy.


Hodor a.k.a. “So THAT’S what you talkin’ bout, Willis!”

You mean to tell me Willis a.k.a Hodor has seen and been repeating the last phrase he uttered his entire life? Nah son! If I were Hodor, I would’a been chucked up the deuces to Ned, Tony and every other Stark in the known universe. My exit speech would’ve gone something like “See here Bran, I ain’t never coming home no more.” You the reason I can’t talk and had I known that earlier, I would’ve pushed you out of the window way before Jaimie Lannister. And although that violates the time-space continuum, you quantum leaping and ruining my future by ruining my past in the present also makes no sense. I don’t like you Bran Stark. Your moms told you to chill and you ain’t listen. The Three Eyed Raven told you to chill and you ain’t listen. You are a habitual line stepper!” Of course all of that would’ve been compressed into a hearty “Hodor” but that’s what Willis/Hodor should’ve been thinking.

https://youtu.be/wWH8QGgixfI


Rebirth of Cool a.k.a Welcome back Mr. Snow

After Lord Commander Jon Snow received the American Me twenty one shank salute from the Knight’s Watch in Season 5’s finale, tons of fans were 50% sure they should panic. Given Game of Thrones’ affinity for murdering off numerous fan favorites, the homies had all but poured out their 40 ounces for the fallen (“Your watch has ended my dude”). But wait!! Who is that riding in to save day? None other than the 900 year old hottie, Melisandre the Red Witch. Some eye of Newt here, a bat wing there plus 2 tablespoons of nutmeg and Viola!! Jon Snow is back baby! And not a moment to soon ’cause after all…Winter is coming…oh wait….winter is here! Break out the Valyrian China baby for tonight, we dine on White Walker!

https://youtu.be/PHyEDlmUxF0


Cersei’s Lannister’s Fire Sale. Everything must go!

Oh no she didn’t? Oh yes she did. I don’t know why anyone thought Cersei was taking that case to trial. Most who wish not to stand trial often flee the scene and become fugitives. Cersei however has a totally different approach. Why not just execute the judge, jury, executioner, witnesses, courthouse, church, a few cousins, the Queen and supporting neighborhood? Seems reasonable. After being forcibly paraded through Westeros naked and having tomatoes thrown at her naked vagina, I’m not sure the level of “ration” the High Sparrow was expecting from the woman who has already displayed such reason throughout the series. Oh, and for good measure, why not have your 6’10, 300 pound giant “Sir Corpse A Lot” rape your enemies until she passes away slowly? Ah Cersei. Such a sweet woman you are. “SHAME…..SHAME…..SHAME!”

https://youtu.be/6aqSroT1BBs


Death of Ramsey Bolton ak.a Ramsey Noodles

The reign of terror that was Ramsey Bolton could not have had a more fitting ending as he was reduced to puppy chow by his own hounds. Ramsey “Bobby Flay” Bolton, who had a penchant for chopping off penises and taking names (“Reek is my slave name”) as well as a host of other sadistic atrocities proved to be a full fledged asshole to the very end. Although he managed to take a Stark out in his final moments (R.I.P Rickon), having his face beaten in by Jon then eaten in by Lassie Bolton was a fate well deserved. And maybe jock itch. That would’ve been a pretty terrible fate too.

https://youtu.be/dbOFOahorTk


Ned Stark, You ain’t that baby daddy!

I speculated for months and maybe years as to who Jon Snow’s mammy and pappy actually were. My last thought was that seeing as how he resembled a thin Robert Baratheon who was known to be a legendary man whore, I assumed “Wild Boar Bobby” was Jon’s biological and not Ned. But alas, it was revealed that Jon Snow is in fact a Targaryen on his father side. So a guy who has been lied to about both his parents and was raised in a place called Winterfell is descendant of flame retardant dragon riders?! And you thought you had internal struggles. All the undetermined bloodlines out there in the seven kingdoms leaves me to believe there may be another Targaryen out there. We got 3 dragons but only 1 and a possible riders (Dany and Jon). My best guess is either Tyrion or Lord Varys will be the third unknown Targaryen to mount the dragon. We shall see.

https://youtu.be/bDmxpzjjdGo

Tune in next week for Part 2. Until then, “Valar Dohaeris.”

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Janita – Three Songs She’d Love to Have Written

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Janita’s newest album Here Be Dragons is another in a progression of finely crafted hymns for the empowered. Whether by love, as in the silky “I Do,” or by subverting expectations, in the Beatlesesque “Not What You’re Used To,” Janita draws on lessons learned during a positively unique career that spans decades and continents. We caught up with Janita on the heels of her latest single “When It’s All Up To You” to find out three songs she’d love to have written.

Elliott Smith — “L.A.” 

This is one of my favorite songs by Elliott Smith. I listened to the full album Figure 8 a lot while I was writing the songs on my new album, and it was a huge influence on me both melodically and lyrically. This song in particular has also informed some of the production choices we made later, like the heavier guitars you hear on my song “Not What You’re Used To.”

“L.A.” is incredibly melodic, but there’s an elusive, haunting quality to it. It feels like you’re always trying to reach it, catch up to it somehow. The backing vocals accentuate that feeling. In my mind, the song paints such a vivid picture of the ephemeral, fickle nature of L.A., and the similarly transient nature of the main character. Elliott Smith himself? I don’t know exactly how he does (did) it, but I’m certainly in awe of it.

Radiohead — “There There”

So hypnotic. So badass. Could the production possibly be any cooler? The melody is intricate and beautiful, and I can relate to the lyric from every which angle: as the singer, as the one being sung to, and whether in love relationships, friendships, or with total strangers. The subject matter simply comes up in life in so many ways all the time… I recently tried to express similar notions as I was writing a song, only to remember that it was already done here perfectly. Goddammit.

Punch Brothers — “Julep”

This song is simply magical to me. It’s made me bawl my eyes out at a Punch Brothers concert two separate times. It’s like that viral video that was circulating some years ago of a baby moved to tears when her mom sings a sad tune. I’m that baby when it comes to this song. It simply hits some sort of primal button in me and keeps pressing it until the very end.

While you’re at it, check out Janita’s video for “Digging in the Dirt,” a funky and faithful rendition of the Peter Gabriel classic.

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New Music – Bachelor

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Jay Som’s Melina Duterte and Palehound’s Ellen Kempner join forces as Bachelor – a musical powerhouse whose new record Doomin’ Sun drops May 28th on Polyvinyl.

Kemper and Duterter recorded the album during two weeks of mutual appreciation in California. Three visceral singles have been released in the lead-up, including the Pixies-flavored “Stay in the Car” and the sprawling “Anything At All.”

Bachelor has also announced the Doomin’ Sun Fest, a one-day livestream featuring Tegan & Sara, Courtney Barnett, Adrianne Lenker, Jeff Tweedy, Japanese Breakfast, Julien Baker, and more.

Doomin Sun Fest

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Self-Serving Interview with Electronic Device Does Little to Advance Musician’s Career

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Two men that look suspiciously alike meet outside a fictitious Brooklyn hot-spot – six feet apart.

MC Krispy E: Very nice to meet you. (squints) Have we met before?

Electronic Device: Maybe?

MC Krispy E: Is the rest of the band joining us?

Electronic Device: (pause) I am the rest of the band.

MC Krispy E: You are Electronic Device? What’s that about?

Electronic Device: Uhm, yeah, it’s like a pen name. You know what that is, right?

MC Krispy E: I have some idea.

Electronic Device: It was actually the name of one of my dad’s companies back in the day before…

MC Krispy E: (looking at his watch) Wonderful. So… it says here you have a new single called “All Things Come to an End” inspired by the death of your brother.

Electronic Device: Yeah, after my brother died I recorded songs as a form of therapy in his old bedroom in Staten Island.

MC Krispy E: And now I read that you have cancer. Am I supposed to feel extra sorry for you?

Electronic Device: Uhm…

MC Krispy E: It sounds like this album is going to be super depressing.

Electronic Device: It’s not, I swear. I was looking for some happiness while recording these songs, there’s not much of an agenda beyond that.

MC Krispy E: What kind of music is it?

Electronic Device: I wasn’t really thinking about influences while recording, but listening back I hear some Concrete Blonde, some Cracker.

MC Krispy: So bands no one is interested in?

Electronic Device: What the hell, man?

MC Krispy: Sorry, it’s almost like I can’t help it.  What’s the single about?

Electronic Device: I hate saying what a song is about because everything is up for interpretation.

MC Krispy E: Humor us.

Electronic Device: I can say that “All Things Come to an End” has multiple narrators, some of which are unreliable.

MC Krispy E: (stares)

Electronic Device: And that one day I was at my Dad’s house and when I turned the corner into the hallway my Dad thought I was my brother for a moment, which was super sad because of course I couldn’t be.

MC Krispy E: And then you wrote a whole song about that.

Electronic Device: I guess so. When you put it that way…

MC Krispy E: (yawning) Tell us when the single come out.

Electronic Device: The single is out now. The album comes out in 2021.

MC Krispy E: Well, good for you. And good luck with that cancer thing.

Electronic Device: Yeah, you too.

MC Krispy E: Thanks. What?

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